13 Goofy Things
1. The platypus. Oh come on, how is that NOT goofy?
2. Puppy paws. They smell like tortilla chips. And they’re huge.
3. Kittens running. Their back legs overtake their front legs. ~snort~
4. People copulating. Don’t care what Hollywood says; if ya ain’t messy and goofy-lookin’, ya ain’t doin’ it right.
5. Birds walking. Waddle waddle waddle. Come on, if you were a bird, you’d think you were goofy too.
6. Theater uniforms. Who the heck decided that oversized royal blue berets and loud, splashy vests with patterns from hotel lobby carpeting looked professional?
7. Fashion designers. Well, have you looked at what comes off the runway lately? Have you?
8. Political maneuvering. Do they really think we don’t know they’re lying through their teeth?
9. Military intelligence. You mean it’s not an intentional oxymoron?
10. Reality television. Um, it’s scripted. It’s got a director. How is this reality? (Looks around suspiciously for cameraman and that chick with the script…)
11. Stoned cats. Try it. Go get some catnip. Give it to your cat. Watch him abandon all dignity and try to catch his own tail while upside down on the arm of the couch.
12. Drunk people. ‘Nuff said.
13. Moose lips. Seriously. Go dig up a picture on the internet. It’s like a horse’s mouth, but elongated, and… goofy.
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