Category: Essays

longform, reflective, craft, creativity

  • When Words Stop Being Helpful: Anthologies, Collections, and the Tone That Shrinks Creative Rooms

    When Words Stop Being Helpful: Anthologies, Collections, and the Tone That Shrinks Creative Rooms

    Every writer has had that moment: you use a perfectly normal word, the kind you grew up with, the kind your teachers used, the kind that lived on the covers of the books you loved — and someone swoops in to “correct” you. Not gently. Not collaboratively. But with that unmistakable little flourish of superiority.

    It happened to me recently over a single word: anthology.

    I used it the way most readers do, the way I learned it in school, the way Bradbury and Le Guin were taught to me — as a book of stories. A multi‑story reading experience. A curated set of tales you enter one piece at a time.

    Someone jumped in to “pick nits,” as they put it, and announced that I was wrong. According to them, an anthology can only be written by multiple authors, and my book — a single‑author flash‑fiction collection — could not be called one.

    And I’ll be honest: the tone landed harder than the content. Not because I’m afraid of correction. Not because I’m precious about terminology. But because the correction wasn’t actually correct — and because it carried the unmistakable energy of gatekeeping.

    What the dictionary says

    Here’s what major dictionaries say an anthology is:

    • Merriam‑Webster: “A collection of selected literary pieces.”
    • Oxford: “A published collection of poems or other pieces of writing.”
    • Cambridge: “A collection of artistic works… by different authors or by one author.”

    Not one of these definitions requires multiple authors.

    So the way many of us learned the word — the way classroom books taught it — is valid. It’s normal. It’s correct.

    Your memories of reading Bradbury and Le Guin in school? They fit the dictionary definition perfectly.

    What the publishing industry says

    Inside publishing, the terms narrow:

    • Collection → one author
    • Anthology → multiple authors

    This distinction exists for:

    • rights management
    • contributor agreements
    • metadata
    • shelving
    • distributor systems

    It’s not a universal truth. It’s not a dictionary truth. It’s not even a reader truth. It’s an industry truth.

    Both definitions exist. Both are correct in their own contexts.

    Where things go wrong

    The problem isn’t the information. It’s the tone.

    There’s a world of difference between:

    “Hey, just a heads‑up — in publishing, they use ‘collection’ for single‑author books.”

    and

    “Not to pick nits, but you’re wrong.”

    One invites learning. The other invites shame.

    And shame shrinks creative rooms. It makes people hesitate before asking questions. It makes people second‑guess their instincts. It makes people feel small over things that don’t actually matter.

    Creative spaces should be the opposite of that.

    I see this all the time in my classes

    Because I teach writers, I see the aftermath of gatekeeping constantly.

    A student will come in carrying a rule they were told by someone who sounded authoritative — a rule that’s incomplete, oversimplified, or flat‑out wrong — and they’re terrified to break it. Terrified to trust themselves. Terrified to step into their own creative space.

    They’ve been taught to fear mistakes instead of explore craft.

    They’ve been taught that someone else’s authority matters more than their own voice.

    They’ve been taught that writing is a hallway where gatekeepers stand guard.

    And every time, I find myself saying the same thing:

    You’re a writer. You get to stand in your own space. You don’t need a gatekeeper to validate your terminology, your voice, or your work.

    That’s not arrogance. That’s sovereignty.

    Remember who you are

    I’m an indie author. I built my own imprint. I publish my own books. I run my own newsletter. I manage my own catalog. I built my own platform.

    I don’t need a gatekeeper — and neither do my students.

    We get to define our own creative spaces. We get to protect them from tone that makes learning feel unsafe. We get to trust our lived experience, our dictionaries, and our craft.

    And we get to ignore corrections delivered with superiority instead of generosity.

    So what should you call your book?

    Call it what fits your context.

    If you’re talking to readers? “Anthology” is fine. Dictionaries back you up.

    If you’re talking to publishers or distributors? Use “collection.” It’s the industry term.

    If someone corrects you with tone? You’re allowed to ignore it.

    You’re allowed to trust your lived experience. You’re allowed to trust the dictionary. You’re allowed to trust your own voice.

    And you’re absolutely allowed to walk away from any class taught by someone who confuses pedantry with pedagogy.

  • Statement on the Events of 11/5/24

    Statement on the Events of 11/5/24

    I wrote this for my weekly craft salon, and wanted to share it here as well.

    Statement on the Events of 11/5/24

    I know we\’ve seen the news by now, and that the results are not what we wanted. I wanted to say a few words and provide, if I can, some measure of solace for the times that are ahead of us.

    Plenty of words will be written and spoken in the coming days about what happened, why it occurred, and what to do about it. But my focus is, and must be, closer to home. What is relevant for our purposes is this: the foundation of our personal wellness comes down to at least three things: mindfulness, community, and creativity. It is by exercising those three things, which are entirely in our control, that we garner the strength to heal, the resilience to act, and the strength to respond to adverse circumstances.

    Mindfulness:

    Mindfulness doesn\’t only mean meditation, and meditation doesn\’t only mean stillness. As trauma specialist Molly Birkholm points out, there are three key questions we can ask ourselves whenever we need to come back to our home ground:

    1. What is present?
    2. Where am I feeling it in my body?
    3. Is this information asking me to take some action in the world?

    If you, like me, are experiencing a flood of emotions and anxiety, that first question is where our focus will have the most impact. As we learn to sit with our discomfort, to hold the hurt parts, the anxiety, the fear, and the rage, we come into coherence: coherence with our emotions, with our bodies, and with our minds. It is in coherence that we can act from our best and most enlightened selves. This is not comfortable work. It is not easy work. It IS work. It is THE work.

    Stay with the emotions as you can, and remember that they tend to come in 90 second waves, like labor pains. Breathe. Practice good self care. Eat well, sleep well, hydrate. If we fall off the wagon and binge on junk food or drugs and alcohol, give ourselves grace to realize that\’s a trauma response. We are trying to self-medicate. Get back on the wagon. Follow your program. I\’ve got some resources below if you need them.

    Community:

    A Good Yarn: Makerspace and Crafting Salon is not going anywhere. We will continue our \”politics-free zone,\” and for the same reason that I put that in place when we started this. It\’s not to white-wash what\’s happening. It\’s not to make nice. It\’s not because there are good people on both sides. It\’s because, plain and simple, we need a fucking break. We need a break from the vitriol, the division, and the very real fear for ourselves, our families, our community, and our world. Do not think for a moment that I am blind to any of these things. It is precisely because I see them and feel them so keenly that I need to stake out a place where I say, this place, this sacred space, this liminal space is a space out of space and a time out of time and is inviolate to the forces of confusion that seek to destroy it. It is, quite simply, a radical act.

    Remember our communities. We are not alone, and there is nothing we cannot accomplish when we work together. I know that it might not feel like that right now, and that you, like me, are feeling bruised. That\’s why these steps are chronological. Go back to the beginning. Go back to the breath. What is present. Where are you feeling it. Is the information asking you to take some action in the world.:

    Act. Join your local Indivisible chapter. Cure ballots. (Ask me privately what that is if you haven\’t heard of it.) Join Red, Wine, and Blue. Follow Heather Cox Richardson and Dan Rather. Talk to flesh and blood humans and stay the fuck off social media when you want to connect, and really connect with other humans. Come to craft circle. You don\’t even have to say a word, just sit there and soak up the energy. Remember: Winnie the Pooh and friends didn\’t kick Piglet out when he was feeling down. They sat with him.

    Creativity:

    I\’ve said this many times before: all writing is a radical act. I would expand that to all acts of creativity are radical acts. Our power is in our hands and our voices, and in our ability to play. Audre Lorde said it best: \”Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare.\”

    Child-like pursuits are also radical acts. It takes balls to color as an adult. It takes balls to stand up and say, I like to knit. It takes balls to make something, to have the temerity to declare ourselves \”artist\” in a world that is fueled by monetization.

    Do it anyway.

    Stay strong. Keep the faith. Write.

    Resources:

    Mindfulness:

    EMDR International: https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/

    US-based: Find a therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/

    Calm app: https://calm.com/

    Yoga Nidra:

    Molly Birkholm has a number of resources. There are quite a few, but the ones I like are a series she did during the pandemic:

    1. Week 1: Cultivating Safety: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbBeYppEC8Q&feature=youtu.be
    2. Week 2: Connection: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuaNSRdiaQM&feature=youtu.be
    3. Week 3: Sleep: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NATx0PAff14&feature=youtu.be
    4. Week 4: Love: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DM7fc90jKG0
    5. Week 5: Calming Stress and Anxiety: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXN4I2JTyMc
    6. Week 6: Investing in Yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zg6emSjPAy0&feature=youtu.be
    7. Week 7: Balancing the Five Elements: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-dI-u3oHO8&feature=youtu.be
    8. Week 8: Embodied Consciousness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVqIuz5f8dE&feature=youtu.be

    Community:

    Saturday studio time: Saturdays, noon to 2 Pacific on Zoom (leave me a comment to discuss if you\’re not already on the list)

    Indivisible: https://indivisible.org/

    Red, Wine, and Blue: https://redwine.blue/

    Heather Cox Richardson: https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/ (there is a free version of her daily newsletter; she also puts up an audio version the next day. Letters come out daily in the evening. She\’s a professor on the East Coast of the U.S.; non-partisan.)

    Dan Rather: https://steady.substack.com/ (there is a free version; he\’s a retired U.S. reporter, non-partisan)

    Creativity:

    The Artist\’s Way, by Julia Cameron

    Seattle Writers Group on Discord (leave a comment and we can discuss privately if you would like to join; open joins are paused for the moment for the safety of the community)

    Monday Write-ins with Writer Zen Garden (leave a comment and we can discuss privately)

    I will have more info and thoughts in the coming days, but like you, I\’m reeling from the news. Be gentle with each other. And above all, remember you are loved.

     

  • J Is For… Just Write It! (aka Following One\’s Own Advice)

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    So. It\’s the 12th. Of April.

    Yeah, I noticed that too. It was the 6th of April like five minutes ago. Oof.

    Here\’s what I tell others when they say to me during a challenge, \”But I\’m so beehiiinnnd!!!\” I say, \”So start with where you are!\”

    What does that mean for me today?

    Well, for a start, it means posting on the blog. I checked my Postcrossing stats, just to see where I was on sending out cards – my goal is to have all cards out at all times, and last time I checked I still had four out – and it turns out I\’m behind there, too:

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    This is what it looks like once you sign up for an account on Postcrossing. (If you\’re interested, you can click the image and I have it set up to take you straight there). When you start out, you only get a few cards to send, but as you send more and others note they\’ve received them, then your send count goes up.

    I\’ll grab my postcard stash and request an address, and then work through the list one at a time. I once selected six at the same time and then got busy, and couldn\’t write them in a timely fashion; I don\’t do that now. I pull the address when I am sitting in front of my postcards so I can send them right away.

    How many of you are already in Postcrossing?

    If you\’re not into it yet, would you like to know more about it?

    Let me know in the comments!

    Write on!

  • On the Lee of the Stone

    The old year passes
    Not mourned, but booted out
    With steel toed boots if necessary.
    And yet, we pause, and reflect
    Back on the year-that-was
    And we realize our privilege
    In being able to take such a pause,
    In having the luxury of a full belly
    That allows us to reflect on higher
    Needs of Maslow\’s hierarchy.

    Much has happened,
    Much over which we will ruminate.
    But for now, for tonight, this night,
    This eve of what is to come,
    We must hold fast to the truths that we\’ve come to know:
    We are resilient.
    We are partnered.
    We are stronger together than we are apart.
    We are not alone.
    Our strength comes from our community.
    We are waking up,
    And we are seeing the portal through which we can walk.
    We refuse to lie down,
    We refuse to fall into the hole in front of us.
    But we shall transform and come through the portal,
    Stronger, more resilient, more woke, and more aware.

    Happy New Year!

  • Artober, and the Power of Putting Your Focus In a Specific Place

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CF0gUpTgP5O/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

    I decided this year to participate in the Instagram art festival #artober. Simply put, the idea behind these kinds of challenges is to practice your art on a regular basis – sometimes daily, as I\’m interpreting it, but not always. You could do #artober weekly or even, if you chose, monthly. Posters put pictures of their art on their Instagram feed and follow others who are doing the same.  That can be a lot of fun because you get inspiration for other pieces and meet a lot of really interesting artists in the process.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CF2ZsaYAjfl/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

    There are prompts, but I don\’t always use them.  As you can see from this post, I chose to go a different direction. The prompt for this day was \”Ecstasy,\” which didn\’t really speak to me. I happened to listen to a broadcast by theologian and scholar Starhawk about power, and voila. My piece.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CF5_-4AgaTU/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

    I decided on Day 3 to play with faux calligraphy, which uses a regular fine-point pen to draw calligraphy, rather than relying on a nib for the characteristic thick-and-thin.

    I do my pieces on the fly, and don\’t overthink them. That\’s one of the key pieces to a challenge like this that works for me: go fast, don\’t think, don\’t edit, just make.

    I also use hashtags connected to my art, such as #calligraphy, #fauxcalligraphy, and of course, I tag each piece #artober and #artober2020.

    What about you, Dear Reader? What are some of the things on which you\’re choosing to place your focus?

  • Self-Care September – Social Media Trackers!

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    To What Do You Pay Your Attention?

    It has been said that attention will be the next most sought after commodity. In the modern world, we have FAR too many distractions. From doctors and psychologists to technologists all warn of the dangers of too much social media consumption. Problems ranging from confirmation bias to truncated attention spans and an inability to concentrate are all blamed on our addition to scrolling.

    It helps to recognize the word \”pay\” in that question.

    Attention is a limited commodity. We only have so much of it before we become fatigued, get bored, need to rest or eat, or have other responsibilities intrude on our time. When we\’re thinking about what we do all day vs. what we want to be doing, it\’s a useful mental tool to recognize that attention, like money, is something we pay – and that once it\’s gone, it\’s gone. Unlike money, where we can theoretically make more of it, attention is something that can\’t be gotten back.

    I challenge us to track our social media consumption.

    Again, there\’s an important word in that statement, this time, \”consumption.\” Just like a steady diet of junk food and soda makes us sick, a steady diet of junk media clogs up our brains and makes us sick. So what if we were to take the bull by the horns and really work to curtail that scrolling? Is there a way to help technology help us?

    Indeed there is, and it\’s called a social media tracker or monitor.

    Available on both Android and iPhone, many are free. The one I use is called QualityTime. It gives me daily reports on what apps consume the most of my time and is directly responsible for me removing Facebook from my phone altogether. I just don\’t need the negativity in my life, and I don\’t want to waste the amount of time I was spending on the platform. I\’d rather be making something and writing books.

    Here are some other suggestions:

    1. Moment, available on iPhone.
    2. Forest, available on Android and iPhone.
    3. AppDetox, available on Android.
    4. Offtime, available on Android and iPhone.
    5. ShutApp, available on iPhone.
    6. SPACE, available on iPhone.

     

    It\’s worth noting that there are multiple apps that help us to accomplish the goal of scrolling around less, which should tell us that many people are – rightly! – concerned about it. Social media addiction is of growing concern to mental health practitioners. Even the venerable Mayo Clinic has sounded the alarm, stating that 25% of youth are addicted to phones.  The mental health impacts aren\’t just on our attention, either: it\’s been linked to increased rates of depression. anxiety, stress, and poor sleep. In fact, they state that it\’s even more concerning than substance abuse.

    Your Challenge, Should You Choose To Accept It:

    Download one of the tracking apps and use it this week. Use it without judgment, just with openness and curiosity. What is your most-used app? How much time do you spend on apps? What would you like to be doing more of?

    And I think you\’ll find, as I did, that there are many benefits to becoming more intentional about our social media consumption.

    Tomorrow, join me for Foody Friday and see what I\’ve got up my sleeve for you!

  • Self-Care September – Writer Wednesday | Journal Tools – Future Visioning

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    Future Visioning

    I\’ve been keeping a journal for almost as long as I\’ve been alive. I started with one of those silly little ones they give small girls with a dopey lock that doesn\’t really lock and only about a paragraph\’s worth of space for each day. Such constraint! I\’ve tried all sorts of things in the intervening years, settling on my trusty Strathmore 400 Series 9 x 12\” spiral bound journals with the hardboard cover, because I can use it anywhere – on my lap on the bus or train, on the ferry, in a park, at the beach, in my office, on my balcony out back, in my car… (Dr. Seuss anyone?)

    There are many, many different ways of keeping a journal, too – from the straight up \”Dear Diary\” type of chronicle, to bullet journals, listing, the unsent letter, and all sorts of methods in between. Today I want to talk about Future Visioning.

    What Is Future Visioning?

    Future Visioning is between creative writing, narrative non-fiction, and journaling. It\’s a way of spending time in our minds, fleshing out what we want to create and making it real to our creative brain. Like writing a book, we create the setting and characters and see how they interact. Like narrative non-fiction, it\’s telling a story about real or imagined real events. Like journaling, this is meant to be private: between ourselves and our imagination, and not for the eyes of anyone else.

    How Do You Do It?

    I recommend setting a timer for ten or twenty minutes. Grab your favorite journal notebook or a keyboard and fresh document. It\’s up to you whether you prefer to type or write by hand. I prefer (and recommend) writing by hand because there\’s something kinesthetic that happens when we do that, but use what works best for you. If you\’re not sure, they both and keep what method you like best.

    Then, write down what you\’re wanting to create. Let\’s say our statement for today is, \”I am a prolific author.\” So I\’d start by writing that at the top of my page. Then I take a moment or two with my eyes closed and breathe deeply. I imagine what does me being a prolific author look like? I imagine it\’s this time next year, on a Wednesday afternoon, and I\’m on my balcony with the birds singing. When I have that image clear, I open my eyes and begin to write.

    It\’s a Wednesday afternoon and the sun is out. It\’s not too hot outside and the breeze feels good. I\’m so pleased because I\’ve finished my blog posts for the day and I just hit \”send\” on my newsletter. Our next book is ready to be uploaded, since I just got it back from our book packager. This will be our sixth book in the series and our twentieth book overall. My body feels calm and grounded, and there are no butterflies in my stomach. Writing is so deeply satisfying, and I\’m so grateful that I finally allow myself to do it.

    Let your timer be your guide, and just focus on getting the picture as clearly as you can in your mind, and write down what you see. Try to incorporate all five senses. What are you seeing? What does it feel like in your body to be in this new reality? What are you hearing around you, and from others in your orbit? What are you thinking as a result of your new reality? What in your life is easier?

    We spend so much time complaining that it\’s easy to think that\’s the only thing we can do. But with a little creativity, we can use our journal as a potent tool for positive change.

    Tomorrow, join me for our first September Challenge!

  • Self Care September – Theme Reveal

    \"Calligraphy

    I don\’t have to tell you that this year has been challenging. Between the pandemic, learning new terms for windstorms like \”derecho\” (which is a land hurricane, if you hadn\’t heard it before, and occurred in Iowa and left devastation in its wake), the fires in California, not one but two hurricanes in the Gulf, shootings and protests and rioting, it\’s a wonder that any of us can sleep at night.

    Which brings me to my theme for this month: Focus on what I can control.

    I can\’t fix the weather, and I\’m not a doctor so my job as regards COVID is to stay healthy and stay out of the emergency medical system to the extent that I can – which means, wear a mask, social distance, and avoid travel. I haven\’t really left the house since March other than to walk, go to the community garden, and essential shopping – and I\’m stir crazy!

    Which got me thinking: I can\’t be the only creative, highly sensitive person out here with these challenges! I suspect there are a lot more of us than any of us realize, partly because when we\’re overwhelmed we don\’t communicate as loudly about our personal reality as we might during times when things aren\’t falling down around our ears.

    And thus, the image at the top of this post. Did you know, there\’s such a thing as \”faux calligraphy?\” Here\’s how it works:

    • Write out a phrase or statement, leaving extra space between the letters than you normally would.
    • On the descenders of the letters, draw a second line next to the line of the letter and then color it in – I used the same color for my letters but you could get really fancy and color in the spaces with different colors, even using a colored pencil!
    • When you cross the \”t\’s,\” be extra intentional and make a wavy line. You could even add flourishes if you felt called to.
    • Voila. Calligraphy. Who knew it could be that easy?
    • If you try it, please link me to your Instagram or other place you share your images; I\’d love to see!

     

    And in the meantime, tell me in the comments – what does \”self care\” look like for you? And I\’m not talking here about mani-pedis, necessarily. I\’m talking about really caring for yourself. What does that look like?

    And be sure to come back throughout the month while I share some ideas, challenges, and suggestions so that we can make September a great month together. And on September 3rd, I\’ll be back over at Delilah Devlin\’s blog for a guest post – watch for the link to come visit with me!

  • Writer Wednesday

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    It\’s Wednesday, and I\’m a writer. That\’s about the only reason the title is what it is, and because I couldn\’t think of anything else to use. Check-in sounded too session-y, and holy shit the world\’s on fire a little histrionic. Both are, however, true. So this is a Writer Wednesday Check-In Because the World Is On Fire.

    And in some ways, my sentiment is, Burn, baby, burn. It\’s well past time we reckon with the consequences of the genocide we\’ve committed against Black and brown people in this country, (I\’m in the U.S. if that wasn\’t already clear), and the convulsive changes occurring here and around the world are necessary for growth.

    Sure ain\’t easy, though. Mr. Floyd was laid to rest yesterday. I keep trying to write something coherent about it but run up sharply against the fact that the world doesn\’t need another horrified white lady extolling … well, anything on race right now. No shit, it was horrible that he was murdered. But the truth is, this has been happening for hundreds of years, in big cities, in small towns, and in rural places in the back of beyond. Like Will Smith said, racism isn\’t new, it\’s just being filmed.

    So how do we move forward from this moment? Particularly when we\’re gripped in a global pandemic and an environmental cataclysm that may make everything else moot if we don\’t get on it?

    I don\’t know. And that\’s not a bad thing, this not-knowing. It\’s not comfortable, I know that. But I want to invite you to sit with that not-knowing, that place between what we knew to be true and the place of what is actually true, or at least the next threshold. The more we can hold this place of not-knowing, the better we can listen and have a chance to really hear the lessons we\’re being called to learn.

    What that looks like for me is a couple things.

    One is, I learned a new concept this week: \”Performative.\” There are many kinds of resistance and, unfortunately, we\’ve seen a lot of performative acts over the last week and a half in the wake of Mr. Floyd\’s murder by white people. The most egregious example of this are the statements by NFL CEO Roger Goodell, where he apologized to … whom, us? the players? Colin Kaepernick? for censuring players for their peaceful protests of police brutality. Why is this performative? It cost him nothing. Mr. Kaepernick wasn\’t re-signed, and the fines paid by him and other players have not been returned, at least as of this writing. But it\’s on a smaller, more localized scale too. Many of my fellow whites have been vociferous on social media about the horrors of racism and police brutality, and there\’s a subset of these folx who are acting as though they\’ve just become aware of it. There\’s also a sense that this is what we\’re doing this week, but next week when something else comes into our consciousness we\’ll go do that and forget about Black Lives Matter. What makes it performative is this aspect of publicly doing it: \”See? I\’m a good person because I\’m shouting out loud how bad this is, and how much it hurts me to see it, and how enraged I am.\” I\’m not going to restate things that BIPOC folx have said better and more informatively than I can, and frankly we should be listening to them.

    Which is my point: I\’ve been very quiet the last week or so because I\’ve been sitting with my own racism and unconscious bias, and asking hard questions about why I\’m posting this or that? Am I doing it to keep the focus on BIPOC voices and activists? Am I doing what they are asking me to do as an ally, or am I doing things to make myself feel better or express my horror and outrage without realizing that the BIPOC community has been traumatized from watching on video Mr. Floyd\’s murder? The young woman, all of seventeen years old, who filmed the murder has been the subject of frequent harassment and has been made to feel unsafe. Is my jumping up and down going to help her? Or Mr. Floyd\’s devastated family and friends? I ask myself, if it was my family member murdered on a video went viral so that I see it everywhere from social media to the news to analysis shows, how would I feel?

    And so, I\’m quiet. Because I\’d be fucking devastated.

    I\’ve joined a private reading group to wrestle with these ideas and educate myself better. The book we\’ve chosen to read first is called How To Be An Anti-Racist, by Ibram X. Kendi. The link is to Chicago\’s only Black woman-owned bookstore. It\’s a safe space to discuss the ideas in the book as well as a place to ask embarrassing questions like, what do I tell my Black friend when her neighbor is acting badly? I\’d just call the police, but I don\’t fear that I might be shot if I did that. I\’m at absolutely no risk of it, and in fact depend on the authority my whiteness gives me. What does wipipo mean? Can I use it, or is that not a term that I should be using? How do I talk to my friends and coworkers of color about race? How do I not be an asshole when I\’m trying to help?

    There are many resources, and if you\’re looking for things, may I suggest you look to BIPOC leaders who have already written extensively on the subject? You don\’t need me, a white person, educating you on how to be a better ally. We, each of us, need to be doing that work for ourselves and listening to the BIPOC thinkers who are willing to talk to us about it. And we need to not bother our friends, neighbors, and family members with it – they\’ve been traumatized by the events of recent days. It\’s not up to them to educate us. And we need to be very suspicious of our own desires to ask them: are we asking out of a genuine desire to know? Or are we asking them in specific so they know we\’re \”enlightened and woke\” now? If you absolutely don\’t know where to start, check out your public library. They\’ve got curated lists and librarians willing to answer all sorts of questions for you.

    I know this is a long one, but thank you if you\’ve read with me this far.  I wanted to share, and I wanted to write about what\’s going on, but it\’s been really difficult to find my voice in the middle of what\’s going on. For that reason, I\’ve decided to coordinate a session of Finding Water starting this Sunday. There is no charge for it and the course will go for fourteen weeks. Head on over to our writing group site, Writer Zen Garden, for more info.

    Other than that, I\’ve been learning to weave and having a ball with it. I\’m also taking a class on Herbalism called the Science and Art of Herbalism, and I made some lavender tincture with brandy this week. It will steep for a month, and then we\’ll see how it turned out. I\’m going to start featuring more of that kind of activity on my craft blog, Knoontime Knitting. If you enjoy making things, I hope you\’ll come on over the join the conversation.

    I hope you are staying safe and healthy. COVID appears to not be going away any time soon, so make sure to strengthen your immune system and be smart about being out and about in public. Hug your loved ones close and keep on writing.

    Love,

    Noony

  • Flashback Friday – NANOMADMO!

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    I know it\’s not really November, but we are basically on quarantine here in my valley and the idea of writing a whole lot over the next couple weeks seems very fitting. Here, then, is a flashback to a post I originally wrote for a publisher\’s blog in 2013.

    It’s November, and you know what that means!  NANOWRIMO! For those of you who haven’t heard of this phenomenon, November is National Novel Writing Month – though it really could be called INTERnational Novel Writing Month since my city, Chicago, is competing in a word war with cities from all over the world – including our longstanding with Glasgow, Scotland!  (We’ll win, by the way.)  (Jus’ sayin’.)  Writers sign up and target getting 50,000 words – or more – on a first draft of a novel.  There’s a ton of support, help, and good old fashioned competition during the month and the ones who win the most are the folks who give it their best shot – 50,000 words or no.

    So here’s what I’ve learned about, and from, doing NaNo.  This will be my fourth year participating; I’ve ‘won’ two (meaning, completed over 50k), and participated once (meaning, got a ton of words but not quite 50k).

    -You win whether you finish 50k or not.  Learning to write is a tough gig, and learning to avoid our own censor and just sit down to tell a story can be tough.  Just Do It is a devilishly tricky piece of advice.

    -Just Do It.  Yes, Nike said it first, but they have it right.  There’s no substitute for writing it.

    -When all else fails, write about your critic – that nasty voice that’s telling you your novel sucks, no one will want to read it, and who the hell are you to try this crazy thing anyway?

    -Don’t go it alone.  Whether you find writing buddies in the online forums on the main NaNo site, your own region’s message board, or out in the real world at a live write-in, speak up.  You’re not the only one doing it and the sense of camaraderie can do wonders for your writing self esteem – and may just help make the difference between starting, and winning.

    -Caffeine can fuel the world.  No, really.

    -Cats can’t help you write.  They can, however, sit on your keyboard – so make sure you back up your work.  Often.

    -Get good at writing silly stuff.  Write to prompts.  Write character interviews.  Write badly – on purpose.  Write silly and pedantic and goofy and in voices you never intend your characters to actually have.  Whatever you do, write.

    -Write.  There’s no substitute for it.

    And don’t forget to sleep and shower.  Your family will thank me for that one.

    Write on!

    This post originally appeared on the Samhain Publishing blog, 11/08/2013.

  • Writer Wednesday – write-minded Podcast Appearance

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    Happy Wednesday, writers! I am hard at work on an application for a super sekrit program, which I\’ll share about as soon as I can. But in the process of working on the application, I came across this awesome podcast where fellow author Alexis Daria and I were interviewed on the write-minded podcast. I thought you might enjoy. Take a listen, here.

  • Anxiety

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    Anxiety sucks. It tells lies. It feels true. And it is constant.

    Why is it there?

    That’s a complicated answer. I am not a psychologist, so I can only tell you what I understand about my own anxiety. I am a survivor of child abuse. My mother was mentally ill and my father is a malignant narcissist and psychopath. These aren’t descriptors, in that I am not saying them to be insulting. They are factual statements based on evidence of behavior. While I am not qualified to diagnose either of them, I am able to evaluate their behavior over years of evidence and those two statements fit the evidence.

    Because of their prolonged brainwashing, I now struggle with regular, daily existence. I have a hyper-developed sense of danger, sometimes referred to as “hypervigilance,” which is one of the symptoms connected with Post Traumatic Stress. Anxiety is one of the symptoms as well.

    The thing about anxiety is that it uses all your brain’s faculties to create scenarios that feel incredibly real, yet aren’t. It can take someone’s failure to smile in line at a Starbucks or in the office break room and build an elaborate scenario about how they hate you, want to get you fired, and are dangerous.

    Take the coronavirus situation. I live in Bellevue, Washington State, the epicenter in the United States for the current outbreak. The hospital where the first recorded deaths have occurred (and are still occurring) is five miles from my house. Closer to my office.

    So of course, my anxiety brain thinks I have the virus, even though I have no symptoms and to my knowledge, have met no one who has been exposed.

    This, then, is a conversation with my anxiety brain:

    I HAVE CORONAVIRUS.

    No, you don’t. You haven’t met anyone with it.

    BUT I COULD HAVE.

    Yes. That’s true.

    SEE? I HAVE IT!

    No dear.

    THERE! I SNEEZED! SEE? I HAVE CORONAVIRUS!

    It was dust.

    YOU CAN GET CORONAVIRUS FROM DUST!

    No, you can’t. Dust is dust. Or cat hair. Besides. If you get it, you’ll be fine. You just saw the doctor yesterday.

    BUT SHE COULD BE WRONG.

    Shoo. Go write something.

    WHEN I DIE OF CORONAVIRUS, YOU’LL BE SORRY!

    Yes, that’s true. But in the meantime, write some words.

    NO!

    You could write about coronavirus. Write a romance in a post-apocalyptic world where there’s a continual quarantine.

    …

    Hello?

    I’M NOT TALKING TO YOU. I’M SICK.

    Okay, you go be sick. I’LL go write something.

    CAN YOU WRITE WHILE YOU’RE SICK?

    Yes. It’s a superpower.

     

    If you struggle with anxiety or other issues, I urge you to seek help. Psychology Today has a great therapist finder on their website, here.