When people find out that I like to write letters, a question I often get is,

“What do you write about?”

Here, then, are some suggestions:

Start with a Draft

You can do this old school (on paper) or in a document you keep on your computer. I like to do this on paper because I find that handwriting my ideas slows my brain down. This serves two functions: one, it’s a form of mindfulness; and two, it lets me see the shape of my thoughts and really sit with them, allowing them to develop.

Jot down things you want to include in your letter – three things you want to mention

Why three? I find that if I can get to three, I can get to infinity. One is too few, it doesn’t leave me anywhere to go. Two is adversarial: this, or that. Dark, or light chocolate. But three, three allows me to suddenly make connections, create a shape, get three dimensional. Try it and see what happens for you.

Have Three Questions

No one likes someone who only talks about themselves, right? Then don’t be that kind of correspondent! Show an interest in your penpal, and ask them questions. One of my favorites: “What’s new in your world?” Another one is, “Describe for me what a normal day is like for you.” You can also go on Google and look up “good icebreaker questions,” and pick some to include.

To Enclose or Not To Enclose

Some penpals insist that one must include something in their letter as an enclosure, and I’ve seen all sorts of rules for what kinds of things to include – and they rarely agree with each other. Me, I’m more of the middle way: if I have an enclosure I want to include, I will; otherwise, I’ll let my words and thoughts stand on their own.

But what kinds of things work as enclosures?

• A packet of tea
• Ephemera like small slices of decorated paper
• Maps
• Menus
• Washi tape
• Stickers
• A handmade woven “mug rug” that I wove on a pin loom (I’ve used this as an enclosure multiple times)
• Bookmark

It comes down to what you feel comfortable including, and how much postage you want to spend. A note of caution: be sure to weigh your letter; you don’t want the recipient having to pay for extra postage in order to read your letter.

What’s the most unusual letter you’ve received?