1.

2. It’s pretty.

3. It makes coffee.

(Really. You didn’t see that one coming?)

4. It can make decaf!

(Really. My intern, gods bless her little ditsy heart, stood there with my coworker and I as we’re setting up the new coffee maker. She looked quizical and then asked, “Can this machine make decaf?”)

5. …

Yeah, made me speechless too.

6. IT MAKES FREAKIN’ COFFEE!

7. It heats the water inside the unit, so you don’t have to have the burner on to have hot coffee. This is a plus when you’re the first one in the office and have to make the first pot; you can just put your cup under the basket and voila! coffee.

8. People that put their cup under the basket to steal my coffee before it’s even brewed. Hey. I do it. IT’S MY COFFEEMAKER.

9. Put cinnamon on the grounds before you brew it.

10. Honey in my coffee is better than sugar or sweetener. Tastes lovely and isn’t overprocessed.

11. No one is asking me WHERE IS THE NEW COFFEEMAKER? Did you know the old one is broken? When is the new one coming? Srsly. I actually had an email asking, I kid you not, “how was it shipped?”

IN A BOX!?

12. It makes coffee!

13. And the number one best thing about the new coffeemaker?

IT’S NOT BROKEN!