This is a story about a writer who wanted to have some fun.  She wanted to use her spiffy new-to-her iMac to create a Podcast to the world and play with the M-Audio keyboard (piano keyboard, folks, not typing keyboard) that she’d bought mumble-something years ago and actually make some music, like, man.

Therein lies the story, see, because technology, well, technology is an ugly bitch that never got picked at the high school dance and now wants to take it out on anyone walking by whether or not they were at the dance dancing or wallflowers too.  So our writer, who will remain silent on the whole dancer/wallflower thing, decided to do the simple task of taking a microphone and speaking some words into it and doing a podcast.  Simple, right?  Even a monkey can do it.

Apparently, our writer is not a monkey.

Four DAYS later, the software update started is done and installed and all the new whizbang instrument sounds are available, she has recorded her first (cheesy and corny but fun) podcast – but then couldn’t figure out how to post it to Blogger because apparently Blogger doesn’t yet host podcasts – dude, Blogger, get with it, will ya? – and posted it to YouTube and…

Therein lies the story, see, because you can’t upload an audio-only file to YouTube.

Sigh.

So, Google search revealed the secret – that one must first make a movie on iMovie.

You with me on this?  Our poor writer, who JUST WANTED TO HAVE SOME FUN, decided to record herself in GarageBand, which then uploaded to iTunes, which then uploaded to YouTube but wouldn’t work, now is in iMovie to add the audio to a still image, and then upload that back onto YouTube…

For a four second clip.

Huh?  IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE 10 MINUTES LONG!

Turns out, iMovie defaults four seconds of audio when you have an image.  You have to change the duration of the image from four seconds to the duration of your audio.  Still with me?  Come on, drink some coffee, you can do it…  I know it’s confusing, but it’s almost done.

So.  GarageBand-to-iTunes-to-YouTube-to-iMovie-to-YouTube and FINALLY success.

I just looked and…

My image is too wide for the space alotted for YouTube and cuts off the words in the bottom right of the frame.

I officially give up and call it…

MY FIRST DRAFT.

The others being… well… firster.

G’night.