Thursday 13 – 156th Edition: 07/31/2008

Written by

Noony

in

13 Questions

“If they can get you asking the wrong questions they don’t have to worry about the answers.” – Thomas Pynchon

1. Who says morning is the most productive time? Why do we have to start work in the morning? Why don’t night-owls rule society?

2. Why DO we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

3. Why in the U.S. are the polls (you know, those thing you vote at?) (yes, dear, I know that’s grammatically wrong; pay attention, or we’ll never get through this!) only open during working hours?

4. Same question re: banks. Don’t they WANT us to give them our business?

5. Why is the sky blue?

6. How come they don’t teach budgeting, checkbook balancing, grocery shopping – and bargain-hunting, job search skills, etc. in high school and college?

7. Why are bonuses taxed at 40% in the U.S.?

8. Why do cats always land on their feet and have to sleep on my computer – WHILE I’M USING IT?

9. Why are squirrels really nice when you DON’T have a dog, but the minute you get a dog, they turn into little harlots? “Wanna touch squirrellie?” “Don’t I have a nice tail?”

10. Why are people who own little, disgusting, barking, yappy dogs convinced that their dog is an angel – while it’s barking at effing THREE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING? (You know who you are…)

11. Why are people so rude? I mean, come on. If I’m walking on the sidewalk, TWO OBJECTS CAN’T OCCUPY THE SAME SPACE AT THE SAME TIME. It’s simple physics, people.

12. Why are CTA (Chicago Transit Authority) conductors so communicative when absolutely unnecessary (like, when we’re stopped short of a station with a train ahead of us, “We’re standing momentarily while the train ahead of us clears the station…”) and absolutely non-communicative during crises (like, when we’re stopped dead on the tracks, the conductor gets OFF the train to check out something on the tracks, then gets back on and we get underway without any explanation… what, did he see a donut or something??).

13. Why do people in public office lie and then stand by it when caught out on it, as though sheer repetition will make their lie true? (What? Of COURSE the sky is purple!)

Happy TT!

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Comments

  1. Eden Hail Avatar
    Eden Hail

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    Reply
  2. Eden Hail Avatar
    Eden Hail

    Second attempt… Most of those questions I have no answer for… but I do know why the sky is blue. White light from the sun passes through the atmosphere, with particles of water acting as prisms to split the white light into its different colours. Reds, yellows and oranges have long wavelengths and moves through the atmosphere uninhibited, where as blue reflects off gas molecules in the atmosphere, as blue has a shorter wavelength than most of the other colours. The molecules look blue, then, even though it really isn’t. ^-^

    Reply
  3. Unhinged Avatar
    Unhinged

    Um, why Bud Dry? Why not Coors Light? Or Hot Damn?

    ~*~*~*~

    #6 …budgeting, checkbook balancing…, I vaguely remember covering in like, the 7th or 8th grade…when it didn’t mean diddly squat to me. But I think this is a GREAT suggestion. There SHOULD be a required course in high school covering everything you mentioned.

    #7 Why are bonuses taxed at 40% in the U.S.?, I’m totally with you. It’s so unfair. I try not to look at what the govern-freaking-ment takes out of my checks, because I know it’ll just make me crazy.

    #11 Why are people so rude? I mean, come on. If I’m walking on the sidewalk, TWO OBJECTS CAN’T OCCUPY THE SAME SPACE AT THE SAME TIME.) And Andi says YES, DAMMIT! I walk to and from work every day, and am endlessly surprised (and sometimes hurt) when people don’t seem to acknowledge me. I may not be 5’8″, but I still exist, yanno.

    Reply
  4. Eaton Bennett Avatar
    Eaton Bennett

    I agree about teaching the everyday, most needed skills to our young people. All that stuff should be basic education.
    Squirrels acting as harlots…hmmm, a bit too scary to think about. 🙂

    Reply

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